1. This Silver Lake Parka from Gorsuch is on my wish list…(a girl can dream, right?).  2. My new iPhone4 (a birthday gift).  3. A warm cozy bed with faux fur throw (no, this is not my bed but I wouldn’t mind if it was).  4. My fabulous new ring from Free People (a Christmas gift).  5. Soaking at Chico Hot Springs.  6. Snowy Fawn bouquet by Olive & Cocoa.  7. Pedicures at Sage Spa in Bozeman.  8.  International wedding photographer, Jasmine Star’s EXPOSED magazine (a Christmas gift).  9.  Creme de la Mer  (an occasional luxury).  10.  Bull elk in snowstorm.  11. Homemade Navajo Lamb Stew (with Indian fry bread).  12.  Playing board games in front of a roaring fire.  13.  Cardigan from Anthropologie (a Christmas present in 2009).  14.  My Ugg Adirondack Boots (for outside) 15. Our Finlandia Sauna (I really should use it more!)  16. A skinny latte, double shot.  17. The classic 1954 musical “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.”  18. Wine and cheese.  19. Pothos chandelier earrings from Anthropologie  (no longer available, darn it!)  20. Watching our twins race the Slalom and Giant Slalom from Bridger & Big Sky to Discovery and Whitefish!  21. Paperwhites  22. Lollia’s “Imagine” eau de Parfum (available at HeyDay in Bozeman).  23. Jeep Wrangler 2012 Unlimited Sahara (this car would look good on me!)  24. Pj bottoms from Anthropologie.  25.  Christmas cards…both sending and receiving them (this is ours from 2010).  26.  Spirutein High Protein Shakes (to get back in shape after the holidays).  27. “Best of the Bunch” Cardigan from Anthropologie (a Christmas gift in 2010).  28. Our backyard view.  29. The shell boxes Larissa and I made (they remind me of the beach).  30.  ”The Brooklyn” Ona Camera Bag (on my wish list).  31. Niederegger Marzipan Bars (only during the holidays).  32. Fatwood from Plow & Hearth.  33.  Sleepy Hollow Pencil Cup by Anthropologie.  34. Carharrt jacket (available at Murdoch’s in Bozeman).  35. Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream (available at Target, CVS, Walmart).  36. Aviator Headphones by Skullcandy (a Christmas gift ~ for the twins iPods…LOVE the peace & quiet).  37.  Dinner by candlelight.  38. The non-traditional Christmas Tree in my studio.  39. My mink scarf  40. Deerskin insulated gloves from Murdoch’s in Bozeman.  41. Tyre Grip (for traction on ice without chains). 42. Our trusty log cart by Plow & Hearth.  43. Sunday morning frittatas whipped up in our fabulous frittata pans by William Sonoma.  44.  Our treadmill.  (Gotta keep movin’…).  45.  Ugg Sundance Boots (for at home).  46. Jingle bells and sleigh rides.  47. Necture Bathing Gel by Lady Primrose.

win·try/ˈwintrē/

Adjective:  Characteristic of winter, esp. in feeling or looking very cold and bleek:  ”a wintry landscape”.

This marks our 3rd year attending Christmas Tea at the historic Gallatin Gateway Inn.  What my poem does not mention is that the woman sitting at the table next to us recognized as we walked in, although I had never met her!  She had clicked through a series of links while on the internet or Facebook and ended up at my blogpost from last year’s Christmas Tea!  She said it looked so lovely and sounded so wonderful, she ended up making reservations for she and her husband!  How cool is that?  Perhaps we’ll see them again next year!

Lori first saw my baby & family photographic exhibit four or so years ago at Bozeman Deaconess’s Labor & Delivery Ward which is just a stone’s throw from the ICU of all things.  I photographed her family that summer here at Sky Ranch and however it happens that people become friends, we became friends.  The following summer I photographed Courtney for her modeling portfolio with a few mother/daughter shots thrown in for good measure.  And as the sun set, we (Lori’s family & ours) enjoyed a barbecued dinner thanks to Doug who was prepping & cooking while I was shooting…

Lori was with me on March 3rd, 2011 when I kissed Doug and told him I loved him before they wheeled him in for life-saving surgery.  Once, a year or so back, when I was having a bad day she drove from Bozeman to Sky Ranch to deliver a bouquet of roses and ice cream.  Lori is a giver.  So when her milestone 50th birthday approached on June 1st (Doug & my wedding anniversary date, no less), I wanted to give something back to her that she wanted more than anything else…another family photo shoot.

We all struggle from time to time in our daily existence, but at the end of the day, it boils down to family.  Are we together…are we warm, comfy, safe and happy?  For a single mom, the task is infinitely harder.  I am so proud of Lori, her zest for life, the sacrifices she makes for her children, Cody & Courtney, the selflessness with which she gives to friends.  Friends like us.  For all she has done for us, this was the least I could do for her, for her family.

We are in a better place now.  And together, our families rejoice.  In the beautiful land of life!

 Thanks, Kylee and Tyson for making the trek back to the ranch.  I loved meeting Alyson and seeing you all again!

We have been so very blessed that first of all, Doug survived the accident (the worst trauma Bozeman Deaconess had ever seen).  And that Winter finally gave way to Spring.  Blessed that my business continued to GROW despite the fact that I didn’t send out a single email newsletter all year and that my websites are not yet mobile-compatible (which was my plan for March, no less).  We took it moment by moment, day by day, week by week.  Summer has just flown by and it’s the last Art Walk of the season…and yes, of course…there is still so much I wanted to do to be “ready”…but guess what?  We are having a celebration all the same because sometimes you just have to count your blessings right where you are!

So please, join us and bring all your friends to our Grand Opening Celebration to be held in conjunction with the famed Livingston Art Walk:

WHEN:  This coming Friday, August 26th

TIME:  5:30 – 8:30 P.M.

WHERE:  114 E. Lewis Street (4 or 5 doors east of Main)

The Saarel Family would be honored to have you attend.  Enjoy a glass of champagne and gourmet caramels while you peruse our fine boutique photography products.  Enter a drawing to win a FREE Holiday Mini Session.  We are so grateful to be here and would like to share our joy and blessings with you!

Tears fall openly from his big eye.  He does not feel them fall.   Automatically, I pick up a tissue and wipe his tears.  This is a new routine.  This eye sits in a brand new plastic eye socket surrounded by titanium plates that replace the orbital bone broken in more than 6 places.  And periodically, it weeps.

Stupid  as it may seem, you search for things…for clues, for answers.  His glasses, the ones he was wearing when the accident happened were finally found two months later (in May).  Stumbled upon while collecting baling string lying here & there in the pasture surrounding the barn.  The lenses gone, the frame twisted.  And yet, still so whole and complete.

If we believe…in ourselves, in each other, in today and tomorrow…we cannot be broken.  Hang on.

The process began in October 2010 when we had been informed they had been nominated for participation in the program and we attended an informational meeting in Billings.  Sam and Larissa were excited about the opportunity and Doug and I at the incredible learning experience this would be for them.  In November, they were interviewed in Billings by the delegation leader, a Billings elementary school principal, having to bring along three letters of recommendation from past and present teachers.  About a week later, we learned they’d been accepted.   And that’s when the real work began…monthly meetings in Billings, online learning and quizzes to complete on each country’s art & history, geography, food & customs.  Journal projects.  A special presentation and report on any topic they will see or experience along their journey AND a community service project.

I must admit it was going to be a challenge for them to accomplish these tasks in addition to their regular schoolwork, ski racing season and music lessons during the best of circumstances.  And then the doozy of a winter hit which left us snowed in on numerous occasions, broke down our snowcat forcing us to call in bulldozers & front loaders to dig us out, all topped off by Doug’s accident and hospitalization.  Stress, major unexpected expenses, exhaustion.  When Larissa suggested that maybe they shouldn’t go on the trip this year, I wanted them to go all the more.  And we plodded on taking it one day at time.

This past Sunday was their last meeting in Billings where the students presented their final projects, before next month’s “Bon Voyage” party.  We made it!!!  We did it!!  I have tears in my eyes!  Now all they need to do is pack their bags and practice a few simple phrases in French, German and Italian!  We are so proud of our little ambassadors, the youngest in the group.  We were also especially proud of their concept and the amount of work they put into their Community Service Project to benefit the Stafford Animal Shelter in Livingston.  Here is the video they presented at Sunday’s meeting:

Their efforts impressed everyone at the meeting including the Stafford Shelter who blogged about the twins’ project here.  And finally, here’s a photo of them relieved after surviving their first-ever interview last November:

Wedding Day photo by Audrey Hall

My heart.  It knew it met someone special the night I met you.  I didn’t know how, or why back then in 1996, but I knew.  Married within the year, our separate lives culminated into a singular moment on a Montana mountain-top.  An eagle approached from the west, another from the east, flying continuously overhead in a dramatic courtship dance as we said our vows and the Justice of the Peace proclaimed…”Until death do you part.”  And so it was every day from that day on for the next 12 years, through thick and through thin.  You were my heart.  You would always be my heart.  And my strength.  And my weakness.  And never did I want to be without you.

When you came to be broken, so broken asking for help, my heart wanted to crumble into a million pieces, fall down and collapse.  But you stood.  If you had the strength to stand, so would I.  I would not fail you.  I would not fail us or our family.  You needed me now.

…no time to call 911…get in the car.  Sliding down the road, need to slow down.  100 mph on the highway…”are you ok?… can you breathe?’  Call the hospital.  “Be ready, we’ll be there within 10 minutes.”  At hospital.  No one’s waiting.  Rush in for a wheelchair.  Door closes.  Scream at door to open.  Place Doug in the wheelchair.   Push him into hospital.  Suddenly in Trauma room.  Asked to leave.  “You don’t want to see this,” they say.  Alone.  So alone.  Never did I think I’d be without you.  Helpless.  Lost.  Afraid.  Life spins on a dime.  Without warning, the rug gets pulled out from under you and your life is turned upside-down.  Spinning…spinning…

Never for a moment did we give up.  Me on you.  You on me.  When we first saw each other right after the accident, our eyes locked and we both knew…bad as this was, we would survive this.  We would survive.  For you are my heart and mine is yours…until death do us part.